I’d like to extend a heartfelt round of applause for all A Song of Ice and Fire nerds, who so dutifully enabled last night’s Game of Thrones episode to be the surprise it deserved. You have collectively set the standard for the book-to-screen decorum and, gratefully, I commend your (continued) tight lips.

Also, a brief poem, for one ASOIAF nerd in particular:

Dearest Lady Amanda,
Thy tight lips shine
with talent divine.
Curse this dullness;
to read in kind demands
my time unseen.
Thy smug pride: hold her
for th’ days remaining,
lest they be sorrowful,
lest they be gay.
You are the eye of the crow,
the clam of the whore,
the tip of the arrow.

Best,
King Joffrey